Top 7 Questions to Ask When Interviewing a Doula

Choosing the right doula for you can be a process. You need to find someone who knows what they’re doing and someone you trust. Here are my top seven questions to ask when interviewing a potential doula for your birth:

#1. Do you have experience at my hospital/with my providers? 

This is such an important question because there is a huge benefit to a doula that knows the hospital policies and procedures, knows the nursing staff, and knows the providers. You can still hire a great doula for a hospital that’s brand new to them, but it does help to have someone on your team who knows the ins and outs of the place you’re birthing at. 

I’ve been working with AAMC, BWMC, and Howard County hospitals since 2019. I am especially at home at Anne Arundel Medical Center as most of my hospital births are there.

I have served as a doula for an OB who practices there. I have developed friendships with the nurses. I am regularly speaking at Centering sections for the Bay Area Midwives. I feel comfortable at AAMC and know the lay of the land. 

#2. What is your approach to birth support? 

This is a good beginning question because you then know they are answering from a place of honesty and not just trying to say what you want to hear. I have very specific goals as your doula–for every kind of birth–and I share those openly (to make sure you feel safe and that you feel heard throughout the birthing process) from the start. It’s not like doulas have to have a memorized pitch for this question, but they should be able to answer you without being too general.

I always tell people I bring a calm energy to the birthing space–I think that can be a general answer, but I follow it up by explaining my experience as a certified HypnoBirthing instructor and talk about how your feelings (in particular your feeling safe) is important to birth both physiologically for the birth to proceed and for your memory of your birth. 

This question lets you get to know the doula better and feel out their strengths. 

#3. What kind of comfort measures do you offer during a birth?

Some doulas are more hands-on than others. Some bring a bunch of tools to the birth. Some are all about affirmations. Find out what your doula does to help you through a contraction.

Does she know how to use a TENS unit? Does she have a rebozo?

What, beyond hip squeezes, are the physical touch comfort measure options during the birth that she’ll perform? If you know you are a person who doesn't like to be touched, say that. You can intuit a lot about the person’s experience based on what they have to say about comfort measures. 

My favorite shirt to wear to birth: YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS.

#4. How will you include my partner? 

This is a big one. A lot of partners are scared the doula will “replace” them or squeeze them out of their role. That is never the goal for any doula. A good doula will tell you they’re there for both the birthing person and their partner.

Finding out how she will include your partner clues you in to how often she really does set up the partner for success. A good doula sets up the pitches for your partner to knock them out of the park.

Or, another way to think of it is that a good doula is like a good wingman for your partner–If you’re the partner in this: they make you look good, they subtly nudge you into remembering all the comfort measures discussed at the prenatal appointments and/or in any handouts shared.

I send every partner a 30+ page ebook with Comfort Measures so every single person in the birth room has skills to pull from to help keep things going smoothly. 

#5. What experience have you had with birth plans changing in the moment? 

I doubt there’s a doula out there who hasn’t had a client’s birth deviate from the plan. I can speak as a mom who had a beautiful water birth planned at a birth center that was seven minutes from my house–I had a lovely car birth in my driveway.

Birth can happen in all kinds of ways–I call it a labor labyrinth for a reason. There are twists and turns that can feel unexpected.  A good doula is like a good boxing coach–they anticipate the next move and give you the heads up about it, give you all the water you need, massage you, and build you up! 

Image via Total Rocky

Find out if they know how to use a peanut ball during a birth. Even if you’re not planning an epidural, ask if they have attended births where they’re used. Do they sound like they will know how to pivot to a new plan, if one is needed? 

#6. When do they come join you at the birth? 

This answer is going to vary widely. If you’re having a homebirth, your doula will be joining you before the midwife does. If you’re having an induction at a hospital, some doulas join for the beginning and then step out until they’re needed again. Some only join once you can no longer talk through contractions. 

If I was asked this, I would say that it varies depending on the client. I know some people with trauma are going to want me there earlier than people without it. Some people are going to want me to join them only when they’re definitely in active labor because they’re more private.

In truth, the longer you can keep it this intimate, private thing between you and your partner, the better. A doula will protect that calm space when you are ready for her, which usually coincides with active labor contractions that you can no longer talk though. 

#7. Ask what they wish all expecting parents knew before birth? 

I love this question because it’s so open ended. My answer would also vary based on what we had already covered in the conversation earlier. I think it’s a good way to kind of tie up the interview and see if they offer more practical advice (which is always good to collect from an experienced birth professional) or if it’s more abstract and about overall mindset/approach to parenthood.

When deciding which doula to go with, you need to ask yourself: did I click with them?

You can call up the most experienced doula in the area, but maybe she just isn’t what you were expecting and she’s just not the right fit. That’s ok! When you’re interviewing doulas, they’re interviewing you too to see if you’re a good fit for them. 

You are going to be naked (physically and emotionally raw) with this person. They are going to see you at your most vulnerable. It’s a beautiful thing to invite a stranger into this as your guide. Choose someone that offers the things you’re looking for–connection, comfort, love, excitement, adoration of birth! Whatever those qualities are, keep looking until you find it! 

As a doula in the Annapolis area since 2019, I have been able to serve hundreds of families, get to know the in’s and out’s of the hospital, and develop relationships with providers.

I love our birth community here and referring people to expert lactation consultants, pelvic floor physical therapists, etc. The right doula for you is out there if it’s not me! Ask questions and find the one that’s right for you.